One Question

One Question

By- Adrija Gupta

I am confused.

With myself,

And the way I feel.

It’s just that I like you.

And I just want to ask,

Do you like me too?

Should I hold this feeling?

Or should I let you know?

My love to you, should I show?

I don’t tell you but,

I think about you all the time.

And I also know that,

It isn’t a crime.

You bring smile on my face,

When I am down.

Even though I irritate you,

You don’t seem to frown.

It’s hard to hold back,

This deep feeling of mine.

For you I feel.

And truly saying, it is real.

I long to just hear your voice.

And I flow along with what you say.

Wish I could embrace you,

With my true love ray.

But then how should I say,

What I feel for you?

My heart pounds when we talk,

Telling you the truth,

How am I supposed to do?

I don’t know but,

If my faint voice ever reaches you,

Just know that this is Love.

And it is very true.

But when shall I tell you?

Tomorrow? But then,

It never comes!

Not to lie, I am nervous.

My heart’s pounding fast.

Just to name some.

If I just smile at you,

Will you get what I feel for you?

Will you ever understand?

That I am in Love with you.

Here comes just one question,

I am in Love with you.

I just want to ask,

Do you Love me too?

The Empty Feeling In Train

The Empty Feeling In Train
By- Adrija Gupta
This piece was written by me on 18th of August 2010 while travelling on a train.......

This empty feeling is damn toxicating and is killing me. Even though my eyes don't show any signs of raging tears, my heart is crying, crying in such a way that I am feeling my heart shrink and bearing the pain of a shrinking heart is unbearably unbearable.
All I can do right now is that look at the moon through this faded night sky and think of him, give a flying kiss to the moon which I know will surely give my kiss to him, who is looking at the moon right now, I am sure of it.
Five more days with this same feeling, I am sure to become a living mechanical puppet unable to feel anything. I wish i could just feel his hand on my head right at this moment, it would give me just so much strength, so much joy that I would be able to sleep in the night knowing that he is right beside me, watching over me.
I see his face in this world of loneliness. His voice, a single word from his mouth will play a medicine to a feverish infant.
I am just wondering, how can this girl fall so deeply in love that she is ready to jump off this train that she is in??? How could I be so strong???
I know that he is thinking of me too. If I could just gaze at him...
This empty toxicating feeling is just killing me.
I know that these tear drops value, cause each and every drop contains compressed feelings of mine for him.
And as they roll down my cheeks, I just wish his enchanting hand could be there to wipe them off.
This empty toxicating feeling is just killing me...

Realization

Realization
By-Adrija gupta


Though my own life has barely started,
At times my own mind plays games.
Games that I don’t really understand,
Games that makes me ashamed.

I must confess, I am not perfect.
Nor am I good, nor am I bad.
This mind game has hanged me in between,
Alas! I feel blue and sad!

Could it be a simple mistake?
That I make every time?
Or is it really a big illusion,
To the people that I am kind?

So many times I find myself in darkness,
My mind and thoughts so black.
As black as black ebony.
Makes me feel, its happiness that I lack.

But slowly as time passes by,
I realize that I am stronger.
Much of what I remember now,
There are dozen reasons behind my anger.

One question that troubles me the most
The question unanswerable,
The question so spooky,
Makes me gulp and see my deeds.

Am I really bad?
Not exactly a spoilt child I’ve been.
At times truth seems clad,
It’s the state of mind I’ve always been in.

Though I’m rude time and again.
I speak ill right in front of them.
Use to be in dark and cry,
Now these reasons seem so lame.

I admit I have been wrong my mother!
And father, I have been rude.
And brother, even though I love you so,
All the love I have failed to show.

Should I be hanged?
Or should I be crushed?
What I deserve,
You tell me God.

I ‘m happy I played a mother to you,
My sweet beloved brother,
I’m happy that I am stronger,
Even though I struggled for bread and butter.

The tender touch of your hand, O mother,
When I laid on the bed,
Burning like fire.
Now, happy tears I shed.

Father, all the statements that I have cut,
I took time to realize,
The slap I got for my love,
I realized, you were right.

All the way through these years,
What I have grown up to be,
I was nothing but mere clay.
You all made me, you see.

I am proud of what I am now,
Trying my best to make you smile.
I know I have dozen faults,
Yet I know I’ll succeed and cross the Nile.

All I am together, daughter, friend, sister.
And someday, maybe lover.
One thing I have learned to do,
The tears are for me to cover.

After all this time I realized,
That I am happy the way I am.
I’ll never be able to payback my bearers.
It’s just the way it has to be.
Parents, you made me what I am, you see……

RIP MICHEAL JACKSON

RIP MICHEAL JACKSON... first of all...to all the MJ haters....pls dont proceed cause this u may not like....... 
Now coming to the main point..........THE LEGEND, MICHEAL JACKSON.....is no more in between us......under the same sky that we all live......
its been a year since he passed away.......world has seriously lost a jem.....
i therefore show all my love and gratitude to micheal today......
many of you may not even know this......but he has been through a lot..A LOT!!!!!!well the only problem is that people overlooked them and saw the bad side......why????everybody has bad side!!!I MYSELF IS FULL OF BADS!!!!N I DONT DENY THAT....but PLEASE PEOPLE..............FOR THIS ONE DAY........mourn for a minute for MJ..he deserves that..... From being beaten up by his father for money to the skin diesease that killed him.....which according to people was plastic surgery(Comeon ppl open ur eyes!!!he was a human too!!!!!!! arent u!!!!) as for me..........i did cry the same day last year...same goes for my father, who is a musician.....and today this year......i did shed few drops....but i am going to contribute the concert today eve that i am going to do to MJ...............
MICHEAL JACKSON......YOU ROCK!!!! AND YOU WILL ALWAYS LIVE FOREVER MORE IN OUR HEARST NO MATTER HOW MANY HATERS YOU HAVE..(P.S. these hates know nothing of music....n just sees negativity everywhere.....)
MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE..........

AND PEOPLE.......listen to HEAL THE WORLD by him....you will come to know what he was......and just try once to create something of that sort........you will realize what depth he had......
THIS DAY IS FOR U MICHEAL>>>>>AND MY CONCERT TODAY IS IN UR NAME..........
you shall live forever in my heart.......

Confused state of mind......

This is my brother Kaustav. I am missing him so much today.........
You know i was just thinking, what do i name my life??? I mean whatever has happened to me from the day that i came to this world?I don't know if i am sad or happy at this moment.Have i lost myself??? or have i just found myself?????
   I don't even know why am i getting such a feeling right now. There are just so many questions arising in my mind right now.If anyone reads all these, will that person understand the intensity of all the feelings that i am feeling???
I want to be hugged. I seriously need one now........
 And what is supposed to be more important for a person: family, career, friendship or love? Now this is indeed a very difficult question. And why do peoples' minds change with time? And does time really heals? and is there really any future???? I mean it's just that we are passing a day and a night, and then we pair these two up and call it an entire day, then when we cross one of these, we call it yesterday and now that i am writing this, it is the present and tomorrow that everyone says no one knows, what is this tomorrow????
And what if someone knew what tomorrow will be like?? Only matter of "if"s are arousing in my mind right now.Then what is the reality??WHOM am i suppose to believe and trust?

   And I don't know why my eyes are full of tears.........

don't mess with the new world..it'll get tragic. .

hey everyone......you know at time.....you feel like saying a lot but the words don't really come to you.....adjusting to a whole new p[ace i quite hard...but i am so use to it now.....seems like child's play to me.......but the good part about it i that you get stronger.....anyway here is my new recording....

http://www.4shared.com/audio/IC1N1i-i/ad_umbrella.html

do comment....

i am back...finally....

hey everyone...i am back on net finally..........but now will be blogging less coz of new projects..........